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A Letter to Her

April 22, 2022

Dear future KWF recipient,

Hi! First, I want to introduce myself. My name is Beth Brubaker, and most days you can find me running after our 2-year-old daughter, spending time with my family, and teaching high school students. However, if you are reading this, we also have something in common. You have heard the same words I did on September 26, 2018. “You have cancer.” Those words turn worlds upside down. At 31, my life instantly changed. Those words take normalcy away. They shook me to my core.

Now, I want to say welcome to the sisterhood that no one wants to be a part of. We are truly a sisterhood. I also want to tell you that everything you are feeling right now is justified. I felt completely out of control. Medical professionals began planning every moment of my life for the next two years. I heard words that were foreign to me. Lumpectomy. Radiation. Chemotherapy. Mastectomy. ​Instantly, they became part of my lexicon. That was incredibly difficult to accept… It is really hard.

There was also a “small” addition, we will say, to my breast cancer journey. Four days after diagnosis, I found out I was 1 in 3000. I was the 1 in 3000 women who are diagnosed with breast cancer while pregnant. Crazy, right? Every cancer journey is different, and all of them, regardless of circumstance, are challenging and downright scary. It is okay to be scared. You are beginning a journey. Some days, it will feel like a 40-yard dash and other days, it will feel like an endless marathon. YOU CAN DO THIS. However, I want to give you a small piece of advice. Just say YES. I know what you are thinking - say yes to what? After two surgeries and six rounds of chemotherapy, I gave birth to a healthy baby girl in May 2019. For nine months, my husband and I poured every ounce of our energy into keeping our daughter and me safe. There was so much joy in her delivery. What I did not count on, however, was how difficult it would be to not only go through the typical postpartum experience but also restart chemotherapy with a newborn. After delivery, I still had 10 rounds of chemotherapy to go. Every Thursday, I would leave my sleep-deprived husband and newborn daughter at home to go sit in an infusion chair for hours at a time.

I would then go home absolutely wiped and try to be the best wife and mother I could be. Not only was I physically exhausted but emotionally drained. Any shred of self-worth was gone. I cried every week. I was not thinking about anything except getting through these last rounds of chemotherapy. And then the email. One of the breast center’s nurse navigators and my best friend from high school watched what was happening. They saw me struggling. While sitting in my infusion chair during yet another chemotherapy treatment, I received an email with a subject line. “Spa Day - Karen Wellington Foundation.” Those wonderful people in my life nominated me to go on a spa day. My first thought? No. There were people more deserving than me. People who were REALLY struggling through their treatments. Then, I took a step back. I realized how much I wanted to do this. I NEEDED a day that I was not just a cancer patient. I needed to have a day that I felt like myself. I said YES.

​23 days after finishing my final chemotherapy treatment, instead of an infusion chair, I sat in a pedicure chair. I spent a glorious afternoon with my best friend, laughing and relaxing. I was still bald with no eyebrows or eyelashes to speak of. However, for the first time in 11 months, I felt absolutely beautiful. This was a tremendous turning point for me. It gave me the pick-me-up I needed to finish the rest of my treatments (I still had radiation and immunotherapy to go). Even more so, it gave me the strength to be the best role model I could be to my daughter. I needed to be strong for her. I needed to show her that ordinary people, given extraordinary circumstances, can overcome anything.

Now remember - when you get that phone call, email, or surprise at your door, Say YES. Do not think twice. By saying yes, you are realizing Karen Wellington’s dream - to give women like us a much-needed opportunity to have FUN added on our calendar in the midst of cancer. By saying YES, you will join one of the most welcoming and loving families there is. By saying YES, you allow yourself that much-needed place of peace. My dear friend, I know that right now, having fun is probably the furthest thing from your mind. Trust me, I understand. You may also feel undeserving of something like this. I promise you that you deserve everything. You will get through these tough moments. Just remember my piece of advice through it all. Say YES.

With light and love,

Beth

Beth Brubaker, 2019 Spa Recipient